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Fanwai: Chapter Two

My name is Feng Er, this is the name my sister gave me.

Since I can remember, I have lived with a group of homeless people.

They begged fawningly, and they waggled their tails for alms.

They have no dignity.

It is strange that no one has ever told me what dignity is, but I just know that those people have no dignity, and I know that dignity is very important and cannot be discarded.

Therefore, I do not beg or ask for charity.

Therefore, I pick up food that others don’t want in the garbage to eat, and sometimes I have to fight with hungry stray dogs over a small piece of moldy pie.

Therefore, I always thought the food was unpalatable and the water was rotten.

Therefore, when I see people eating feasts at the entrance of the restaurant, I am always puzzled. The food is obviously awful. Why do they eat so deliciously?

Then I figured it out, maybe they were too hungry.

If I hadn’t met my sister, I might have lived so ignorantly, with the only dignity I had.

That year, I was ten years old.

That day, there was a gentle breeze and a drizzle.

I was concentrating on flipping through the trash can and saw half of a rotten apple in it. I was very happy. I haven’t eaten any fruit for a long time. I picked it up carefully and put it under my nose to sniff the rotten smell. With a hint of sweetness, I opened my mouth to take a bite, and a slender white hand knocked down my apple.

Watching Apple roll back to the corner of the trash can, instantly, I was furious.

I turned my head and stared at the owner of that hand, staring at her with my dignity.

That is a girl.

Seeing me staring at her, she was stunned for a moment, then rolled up her lips and smiled, “That is something you can’t eat. If you eat it, you will get sick. If you are hungry, brother, sister will take you to eat delicious food. ,OK?”

The sound was very soft, as soft as the drizzle that was falling at that moment.

At the age of ten, I was stunned by the good sound, really, I have never heard such a good sound.

She was wearing a tender yellow dress with very long and black hair, scattered neatly in front of her, and tiny raindrops fell on her slender eyelashes, like morning dew, like I have seen on the fingers of those wealthy women Beads, I learned later that they are called diamonds.

After years, I can still recall all the details I first saw that day.

She showed a few teeth when she laughed, blinked her eyes several times a minute, and the curvature of her skirt when the breeze passed. She lifted her ears and temples a few times in total. I remember them, and I remember them all.

That day she said: “May I take you to dinner?”

Of course, I refused. My dignity does not allow me to accept a girl’s charity. Although she is not as proud as other chariters, I still can’t. accept.

I didn’t speak, turned and left.

After walking two meters away, I suddenly wanted to look back to see if she was gone, I just wanted to see.

When I looked back, I saw only a slender figure of tender yellow, drifting away in the misty drizzle.

An unfamiliar soreness surged to the bridge of her nose, she just left so easily? Why doesn’t she insist on persisting anymore?

It’s strange that I don’t want to accept her alms, but I hope she will continue to give me alms.

Later I learned that at that time, I had already fallen in love with her gentleness.

It wasn’t until her back figure disappeared at the corner that I turned around and walked to another trash can. This is my most important work every day.

Little me, not as tall as a trash can.

There was nothing in this trash can. Just as I was about to walk to the next trash can, I caught a glimpse of a bright yellow skirt from the corner of my eye.

I looked back and saw the girl who had left standing beside me smiling, holding two plastic lunch boxes in her hands, and a plastic bag hanging on her wrist with a paper cup with a lid inside.

She said: “I’m hungry, will you eat with me? I don’t like eating alone.” A terrible


I disdain, I sneer.

It’s just that she smiled so softly, like a ray of sunlight shining through layers of gray clouds into my eyes, I can’t say a word of rejection, and can’t take a step to leave.

I heard a “good” word popping out of my mouth.

I despised myself and blushed, because I heard the sound of’good’ with a hint of shyness.

That day, she and I were sitting on the chairs under the bus stop sign on the side of the road, and we had a meal together under the strange and scrutinizing eyes of passers-by.

I knew from that moment that the food was delicious and the water was slightly sweet.

I devoured it, and there was not a single grain of rice left.

The warm water in the paper cup is also sweetness that I have never enjoyed before.

Looking at the clean lunchbox, I lowered my shy head, and her laughter sounded in my ears, and the breeze-like voice, “Don’t be shy, look, I’m just like you.”

She said, she said to herself. The lunch box in her hand stretched out in front of my eyes. Really, she also ate very cleanly.

My eyes suddenly moistened, and I knew she was giving me sympathy for me and pitying me, but while she was giving me alms, she protected my only dignity very well.

She asked me, “Do you want to go to school?”

I was puzzled, “What is going to school?”

She didn’t say a word, got up and pulled me into a clothing store, pointed to a set of black and gray clothes and asked me, “Do you like it? “

I was silent, looking at my hands that she was holding and couldn’t remove my eyes. Her hands were like snow, while my hands were mud.

Our hands are held together, like beautiful snowflakes falling on the mud.

The sharp contrast between white and black, the two extremes of clean and dirty.

Seeing that I didn’t speak, she took the suit directly from the shelf and said to me: “Go and change it.”

Without giving me a chance to refuse, she said to the waiter: “Take him to the fitting room to change clothes. “

Clearly a very soft voice, but with a force that cannot be denied, my legs involuntarily followed the waiter to the fitting room.

The waiter seemed to despise me, looking at my eyes with contempt.

“He is my brother, you despise him so much, do you want me to invite your store manager to serve us?” The soft voice still made the waiter with contemptuous eyes instantly change his face.

After changing my clothes, I stood in front of the mirror. The person in the mirror was small and dark, and the skin exposed outside the clothes was stained. The clothes were loose and not fitting.

“Change to a smaller one,” she said.

“But…” The waiter was embarrassed, but didn’t dare to refuse, struggling at a loss.

“Change the smaller one.” She said again.

She changed into the one-size clothes and she really fits a lot. She smiled with satisfaction and said to the waiter: “Wrap up the one-size clothes. We need both sets.”

Hearing this, she had a very bad complexion. The waiter suddenly showed joy, and nodded and bowed back and forth: “Yes! Yes! Thank you girl.” After

paying the bill, the waiter took out my dirty clothes in the fitting room as if holding a fragile treasure, “Excuse me, please.” Do you want more clothes?” After hearing

this, she looked back at me and asked, “Do you want more?”

“No.” I heard myself say this, from the moment she said’He is my brother’, I Knowing that I want to say goodbye to my previous life.

That day, she took me to visit the campus, from elementary school, middle school to university, she said: “If you want to change the past, you must read and read.”

Later, I became a student.

Later, I had a sister.

Later, I got a name, Feng Er.

Later, I had a secret that I couldn’t tell.

And she is my secret.


I was thirteen years old, on a late summer night, I had a terrible nightmare.

In the dream, the place called the Internet is full of verbal abuse of my sister, and vicious and filthy language is overwhelming.

My sister shrank in the corner crying, crying sadly, crying desperately.

I personally watched her being pushed into the abyss by countless sharp and ugly hands protruding from the Internet.

And I can’t do anything.

After waking up, I was in a cold sweat, thinking that this dream might be a warning.

So I told my sister, I want to learn computer.

My sister smiled and said, okay.

A year later, I was fourteen years old.

All the teachers who have taught me computer knowledge say that I am a genius, and I am silent.

Only I know that I am not a genius, I just have one more person who wants to protect than others.

… When

I was fifteen years old, in the summer.

My sister is getting engaged, with a man named Ni Heng.

The night before her engagement, I stood outside the door of the Mei’s house and looked at the window of her bedroom. The light was reflected on the pink curtains, as soft as her smile.

The night breeze is very cold, it is really cold, it blows directly into my heart, it is very cold.

I stood for a long time, mosquitoes flew around me, and the mosquitoes cried straight into my eardrums.

Until her window suddenly dimmed, until the full moon disappeared, until the first ray of sunlight appeared in the east.

Until then, the bodyguard who had been vigilant about me scolded, “Hey! Your kid stood all night and didn’t get out! If it weren’t for your underage, the fucking old man beat you to death last night!”

Later, my sister’s engagement failed, it is said that It was Ni Heng who cheated on her sister.

I am ecstatic.

I ran to a place where there was no one and laughed up to the sky, tears streaming out of my smile.

In the evening, I was watching Ni Heng cheating on the Internet, and my sister called.

She made me completely stigmatize Ni Heng’s reputation.

I hung up the phone, and I was stunned for a long time.

My sister’s voice… is still so sweet, but it’s no longer gentle.

There was a hint of strength, or hatred, in her voice.

I waved away the weird feeling in my heart, the things my sister explained must be done earnestly, so it took me ten minutes to get it done.

The next day, my sister called and praised me for doing well. I was pleasantly surprised. For the past five years, I have worked hard to learn network technology in order to one day be able to use this to help my sister.

… It’s been a

long time since I saw my sister. That day, I finally found an excuse to meet her.

Go to her school.

I know her lessons well, and I also know which way she will leave after class.

Wearing my most expensive clothes and spraying the most expensive perfume, I hope she can see that I am no longer a child.

Maybe I am still thin and weak, but I will grow and become strong for her.

I stood under the tree that she must walk through, watching the fallen leaves fall from my eyes one by one, until the 1643rd leaf fell to the ground, her figure finally appeared in my field of vision.

She is still so elegant, so clean and beautiful, so delicate, but her eyes have an inexplicable luster, which I have never seen before.

Every time she takes a step closer, my heart beats nearly a point.

She stopped until I was in front of me, raised her hand and brushed a leaf on my shoulder. She said, “Feng two, don’t wear such old-fashioned clothes in the future. You are only fifteen. You should be bright, and don’t use such strong perfume. , It’s not for you.”

Oh, is it? I thought… Sister, you would like it.

I think I must have looked very lost at the time.

“I like your original appearance, like a clear jade bead, you are now dressed like this, like a little old man.” She said again.

At that moment, I only felt that the stars were all around me, and my smile crawled onto my face uncontrollably.

I will wear the brightest jade clothes in the future and keep the look my sister likes, I swear.

I took out the pre-prepared USB flash drive from my trouser pocket and handed it to my sister. This is the reason why I came here.

Some small wounds on my hands were inevitably exposed in front of her. She gave me a thud, and then cried. The first time I saw her crying, I panicked and said, “Sister… Sister… , Don’t be like this.”

She glared at me, led me to a corner of no one, and suddenly caught my hand, I just felt a comfortable warm current from my hand held gently by her, and then, I saw an incredible scene that I will never forget.

The wound healed slowly at a speed visible to the naked eye, as if it were reborn.

This… is this an ability? witchcraft?

I was surprised and shocked, but I was more worried. If someone who has bad intentions knew about it, my sister would be in danger.

“Sister, don’t let others know.” I reminded.

She patted my shoulder proudly, and said, “Don’t worry, no one knows, you are the first to know.”

I was very happy after hearing this, and was about to ask the truth? An unpleasant voice came in, I turned my head and saw a beautiful boy with red lips and white teeth running over and holding my sister’s arm. He also called her sister.

At that moment, I really wanted to slap the boy named Bel to death.

After leaving the school gate, they got into the same car.

And I watched them leave, and then walked back alone.

Sister, when can I take your arm? In the same car with you?

I work hard, except for things that are injurious and demeaning, as long as I can make money, I will do it.

Finally, I have my own company and subordinates.

I had very few opportunities to meet my sister. I really missed her, so I went to see her at Mei’s house. I didn’t dare to knock on the door, so I could only hide by the flowerbed not far away, looking at her gentle window.

Soon after, the Meis Group encountered a crisis, and I ran to help as soon as possible. Although my strength was meager, after hard work, the Meis Group turned danger to a breeze.

In order to thank me, my sister asked me to go to Meizhai. That night, I met a man, a man who claimed to be her sister’s boyfriend.

It was also that night, he let me know how humble I was.

He hung in the air, looking down at me with the attitude of a king over the world, and he warned me not to covet my sister anymore, otherwise, he would kill me.

In his eyes is crazy and domineering possessiveness, possessiveness towards his sister.

kill me? Why am I afraid of death?

I’m just scared, what should this unprovoking man do to hurt his sister?

“Sister knows you are different?” I asked him.

He said, “What’s the matter with you?” His tone was raised, full of contempt.

And I could only stare at his back who flew into the sky, and shouted: “If you dare to hurt my sister, I will not let you go!”

Look, what a pale and weak threat.

At that time, I suddenly felt that she was very far away from me.

Afterwards, my sister suddenly wanted to leave.

I know where she is going, I can only bless, I can only hope in my heart that she will be happy.

She came back again, already fifteen years later.

I saw her at Uncle Mei’s funeral. She has changed, both her appearance and temperament are earth-shaking.

But I still recognized her at a glance. I turned away all business and stayed with her until Uncle Mei was buried.

Standing in front of Uncle Mei’s tombstone, she did not cry, but I knew that her heart must be the same as the weather that day, gloomy and stormy.

On the way back. I asked her: “How is he treating you?”

She said, “Okay.”

Then, I was relieved.

Then she left without saying goodbye.

Donating all the things in the Mei family, as if to cut off his connection with this place.

My heart was empty and mad, I bought the Mei’s villa and bought the Meis Group.

I kept the room where my sister lived, pretending that she was still there, pretending that she was still there.

Aimee appeared when I was most empty.

She fell in front of my car. I wanted to ignore it, but when I saw her face, it was like a thunderstorm.

That was the face of my sister.

I held her all the way and sent her to the best hospital for treatment.

She woke up a day later, but forgot everything, including her name.

“Aimee, your name is Aimee.” I heard myself say this.

Aimee, Aimee.

This is my selfishness, my secret.

“Ai…Mei?” The girl half-lying on the hospital bed smiled softly, “It sounds good, I like it, thank you.”

When she smiled, my brain crashed, and her smile looked like a sister when she first met me. The smile of time, like the gentle breeze and drizzle of that day, moistened my dry heart.

So I took her home and let her live next door to her sister’s room.

She is very lively, like a butterfly every day, flying around me lightly. Since having her, my empty heart seems to be filled with something, and it is no longer empty and mad.

It’s just her face that makes me often stunned. I often wonder if I was born earlier than my sister, if I had achieved what I am today, and if I grew up to be a man earlier, would I be able to compete with that man?

Often, looking at Aimee’s face, I feel like looking at my sister.

She is a substitute, I know.

… The

last time I saw my sister, I never expected it myself.

I went to see Uncle Mei in the cemetery. My sister is not there. I should visit him often.

As soon as I arrived in the cemetery, I saw a familiar figure standing in front of Uncle Mei’s tombstone. My heart beat violently, and I couldn’t believe my sister would come back.

Walking over, calling her sister, I heard my own voice with uncontrollable surprise.

She turned her head and smiled slightly, but that smile made me feel a little alienated.

I took her home and let her live in the room that had been reserved for her.

I looked at her awkwardly like a child who made a mistake, and she, standing in the room, told me that she should not occupy such an important position in my life, she pointed to her heart and told me, where I am She should be pretending to be worthy, and she is not that person.

At that moment, I understood that my sister had always known the secrets I thought.

That’s why she was a little alienated from me.

I have to admit that at that moment, my heart was completely empty.

Inevitably, she saw Aimee.

Seeing her shocked face, I panicked, lest she misunderstand, I want to explain, but how to explain it?

When negotiating with a clever tongue, I am always clumsy when facing my sister.

My sister came back this time to find someone, and all I can do is to spare no effort to help her find someone.

Also this time, my sister taught me to cherish the person in front of me, and I, following her wishes, began to cherish the person in front of me.

When I came back from the mental hospital that day, Aimee stood under the peach tree and waited for me. The spring breeze blew her clothes and long hair, so she looked like when my sister and I first met.

I’m dumbfounded.

In other words, I pretended to be dumbfounded.

My sister slipped away quietly, I know.

My sister peeped at us in front of the window, I know.

My sister made Aimee fall, I know.

I just pretended not to know.

That night, at the dinner table, I played a scene with Aimee, a scene that reassures my sister.

In that scene, Aimee was willing to enter the scene, and I also joined the scene unknowingly.

In fact, Aimee is a very nice girl, she deserves to be cherished.

My sister found someone and left. Soon after, I married Aimee.

Now, we have a daughter, and a family of three is very happy.

The daughter is very beautiful, very much like her mother.

I gave her a nice name.


Feng Lianchen.

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